Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Top 10 Reasons Prisoner X was Kept in Solitary Confinement Under Heavy Censorship

As you must have heard, Prisoner X, was kept in a secret government jail, and it's forbidden by the censor to talk about him or his incarceration.

Here at the Muqata, we've uncovered the real reasons why Prisoner X was arrested.

Here they are (a joint Joe-Jameel effort):

10. He tried baking dairy Borekas in the wrong shape

9. He was clandestinely helping fund Women of the Wall

8. Arrested for protesting against the Disengagement

7. Had proof of who really killed Rabin

6. Had a Talansky envelope with Olmert's fingerprints on it

5. Had proof Aryeh Deri really was innocent

4. Censored

3. Had dirt on why the Pope really quit

2. Had a copy of Obama's real birth certificate

And reason number 1 is...

1. Sara Netanyahu told Bibi to put him in jail in solitary confinement.


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13 comments:

Anonymous said...

He kissed the back Tzizit by Baruch SheAmar...

NormanF said...

Sounds like a Jewish version of "The Man In The Iron Mask."

What is the prisoner's true identity? No one knows and no one knows if he actually exists.

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

NormanF: His name was Ben Zygier and Australia now confirms they knew he was a prisoner in Israel.

He also had Israeli lawyers.

NormanF said...

Jameel, still no proof.

The foreign reports are unverified rumors. Show us he existed, he worked for the Mossad and that was detained in Israel.

And oh - give us the names of his alleged Israeli lawyers!

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Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Norman F: I didnt say he worked for the Mossad, nor has Israel acknowledged that -- but Israel has officially acknowledged that there was a prisoner X -- his name Ben Zygier and he was Australian.

One of the Israeli lawyers representing him was attorney Avigdor Feldman.

NormanF said...

Jameel - the official statement released Wednesday contained no such admission.

We'll never know what really happened. What one can say is Israel's media was willing to endanger Jewish lives and compromise Israel's foreign policy not because "the public needed to know." It did it for its own selfish reasons.

People don't need to know everything and airing Israel's dirty linen in public doesn't serve the country's interests. The people paid to write stories forget Israel is at war.

Cosmic X said...

:)

Jameel @ The Muqata said...

NormanF: The attorney went on record on Tuesday...even if it wasn't in the "official" statement, it was still factual.

Airing dirty laundry is important for the populace to know. Once the disengagement happened, there are zero guarantees that the government or the courts care about absolute values of a Jewish state.

Anonymous said...

Here's my own suspicions as to why Prisoner X disappeared.

5. He was about to leak indisputable evidence regarding what was then, Labor government involvement in connection with the disappearance of 4500 Yemenite children between 1948-1954.

4. He had the actual recordings of Golda Meir telling her cabinet on the eve of Yom Kippur, 1973: "Yes, a few hundred Jews will die, but it will be worth it. Finally the whole world will understand who are the true aggressors".

3. He threatened Israel's tycoons with an economic revolution, saying: "Mr. Ofer, Mr. Recanati, Ms. Arison, Mr. Wertheimer, Mr. Tshuva, Mr. Leviev, Ms. Strauss....and all the rest of you filthy rich bastards, if you think the cottage cheese revolution was bad for business, wait 'till you see what I have in store for you!". To which they all replied at once, "Put an X on him. From now on you don't exist. You're a walking dead man".

2. He had the actual pictures of 'A', giving Moshe Katzav a blow job on top of his desk. No big deal - Katzav is in prison anyway? Wrong, theses photos revealed all the other Kenesset members involved in the orgy who are now trying to form a coalition.

1. He was about to expose an old video of Joe 'wresting' with his former MTA principle/pedophile Rabbi George Finkelstein.

OK, so he pissed off a lot of powerful people and perhaps endangered Israel's existence. But why suicide? ABC news Australia is now reporting that as soon as he was locked up in Yigal Amir's old diggs, he was subjected to listening to Boaz Sharabi, Zohar Argov, Eli Luzon, Zahava Ben and Sarit Hadad 24 hours a day at audio levels typically heard only at Mizrachi weddings. It was the final blow.

Conspiracy theorists of the world, unite!

Anonymous said...

"Once the disengagement happened, there are zero guarantees that the government or the courts care about absolute values of a Jewish state."
Some will argue that absolute Jewish values were lost after Ben Gurion gave the order to Yitchak Rabin to sink the Altelena.

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the sabra said...

Haaaa! :D

It's been a while since I've enjoyed some Muqata humour.

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